You know what the scary thing is?....(It's not what you think)

When i made the decision last year to recover, the first thing i thought was oh my lord...i'm going to get HUGE, they will make me look like i did before and all my hard work will have gone to waste. Now when i look at what i thought back then, it just goes to show how far my thoughts had gone wrong :-/ how on earth is starving yourself to death 'hard work'? Hard work should produce results that help you, not kill you.
The scary thought to me then was that i was going to get fat. I was so petrified of it i sometimes got into real panic attacks, but now i realize you feel so RELIEVED when you actually have gained the weight and realize its all okay! :D you look much better, you have time for others and your goals in life.

Now i see the scariest part is how close i was to missing out on university, going out with my friends, spending time with my family....life. Imagine existing as a shell without an inside, isn't that god. damn. scary?! I certainly thought so, keep going my friends. I sure will :) xxxx